When I was younger my mom used to tell me about the rows my grandparents had in their younger years. People have this romantic notion that love and marriage is a fairy tale ending. However, we are usually jolted from this ideal after that first real argument between each other.
I don’t mean the small lover’s quarrels, but a really loud, angry, I-can’t-believe-I’m-here-right-now, argument. It doesn’t matter what your arguing temperament is as a couple, you’ll both feel like this is the loud, angry big one, when it happens.
You know what? It’s okay to be angry with your partner in love and marriage. It’s okay to be annoyed, frustrated and even feel a little immature. In fact, many therapists encourage couples to have an argument once and a while. It lets off the steam, the pressure that builds up over a hundred pairs of dirty socks in the living room floor, dozens of forgetful moments, and many, many nagging comments.
If you have never had an argument it could be a sign that both partners are ignoring the problems in your relationship. You two could be tip toeing around lots of little elephants in the living room, which will add up to one big Elephant after a while.
Lack of arguments can even cause couples to end up in couples therapy. Over time that avoidance of an argument can encourage you to grow apart in your love and marriage. If you aren’t spending enough time speaking up about what bothers you, then you could end up feeling resentful and misused. Your partner can end up feeling the same or even frustrated by your distance and strange behavior.
No one likes the really loud, angry, I-can’t-believe-I’m-here-right-now arguments, but they can be few and far between, as long as you take the time to have a smaller argument with your partner every now and then to let off a little steam.