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When I ask my husband if my new jeans make my buttocks look bigger, he often looks at me with that quiz-ridden, “Oh My God please don’t ask me that look” as he tries to figure out whether or not I really want him to tell me if they do. Likewise, if he tries a new recipe and somehow burns it beyond recognition and then has the nerve to say “Isn’t it great?” I get to decipher if he really wants me to answer him truthfully?
These type of questions are the labyrinth placed in relationships to be navigated by men and women alike on a daily basis. To tell the truth or not to tell the truth — that truly is the question. After all, telling the truth is important to a relationship — it creates closeness, understanding, trust.
On the other hand, knowing my backside is getting bigger (while it might very well be true) may leave me feeling hurt, under appreciated, unattractive, and quite literally push me further away.
Over a long term relationship, partners have to learn to temper the truth with silence. Words cannot be taken back once said and as the old adage says, nothing good can come from something bad once said. Adults, mates, partners, and lovers need to recognize that negative feelings more than likely won’t last but the impact of words spoken can and often do last a lifetime. So, when it comes to love and relationships – at least in the trivial day-to-day matters– self-censorship may be key.