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Today we found ourselves in unfamiliar territory.  There were no children in the house, and we found ourselves asking what to do because it never happens.

Want to spice up your relationship?  Get naked.  I didn’t say get naked in bed, I said get naked.  That’s right.  Strip it all off.

There’s something intimate about going around in the buff, even for people in a relationship that’s lasted for years.  We spend most of our lives wearing clothing, covering up our bodies.

Share yours with your sweetheart.  Lose the inhibitions.  Both parties will benefit from the freedom and openness that comes with a nudist day, even if it’s otherwise mundane with dishes and laundry.  Oh, and leave the lights on.

Some advice:

-Ladies, he isn’t critiquing your body.  He’s just happy to be getting a look.  Trust me.

-Guys, only comment on her bod in glowing terms.  Otherwise, you’ll never see it nude again.

Sure, eventually the clothes went back on, and the kids came back home.  But those blissful hours alone did more for us than a week’s worth of sex.  Give it a try.

Love and Marriage, Marriage and Romance | No Comments »

Go to work, cook dinner, watch some TV and then go to bed.  Your nightly routine with your spouse/partner is getting a little bland.  Before you know it, you’ve been stuck in a rut and where’s the romance?  In today’s hectic lifestyle, it’s easy to just hang out on the couch and the crash, but sometimes you need a little more.  Here are a few tips for finding the romance you’ve been missing in your 40-hour workweek in one weekend.

 
Your main goal should be to nurture your relationship rather than maintain your relationship.  It is inevitable that over time you are going to be busy with work and family and eventually sex is just something placed on the backburner.  This doesn’t usually occur with new relationships, but after you’ve been married awhile or even been dating awhile- your priorities in life begin to change.  In order to nurture your relationship, it is a requirement that you put as much energy into it as you did when the relationship began.  This not only applies to your sex life, but by making your spouse/partner feel as though you are genuinely trying to make them happy.  This may mean that you cook their favorite meal, even though it may be hamburgers, and inside you really want something different.

 
So, this weekend cook your spouse that meal they love.  Watch a romantic movie and then set your own mood in your own room.  Candles, satin sheets, soft music on the radio-whatever it takes to put both of you in the mood.  Have a glass of wine or champagne and celebrate the fact that you are actually getting to spend some time together.  In this moment together, emphasize what you know your partner enjoys and do it to the max.  They will return the favor and it will be a night of pure bliss.  Be sure to soundproof the room or send your kids off to grandma’s house for the weekend.  Plan to have the next day off together.  Sleep as late as you want and take the day to relax together.  Lay in bed all afternoon watching movies or just talking and hanging out. 

 
Enjoy the much-needed time together and try to do this as often as possible.  It may be difficult to find the time but plan a date night or weekend and take full advantage of it.

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With today’s busy lifestyles, it’s often hard to find time to catch up at the end of the day without the distractions of life…  Sitting down and having a true, focused conversation often gets pushed to the side as you discuss important issues during commercials, while emptying the dishwasher or while trying to avoid tripping over your kids’ toys. 

Here’s my suggestion:  Put your kids to bed earlier than you plan to go to bed each night (it’s good for their well-being and great for your marriage) and once they are asleep, take a shower with your spouse.  Turn off the lights, light some candles and spend the time relaxing and talking about your day.  You won’t have the distractions that you’d have in the living room or kitchen and you can spend quality time together before you turn in for the night.

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Is it possible to romance on a budget?  Sometimes it sure feels like the answer is no.  But romance isn’t about how much you spend but about how much you’re thinking of your love.  Change your mindset about romance to reflect that you’re thinking of your sweetheart, rather than what you can get for them or do with them.

• Write a love note.  Stick it in their lunch.
• Rent a movie.  Pop microwave popcorn.  Turn off the lights and enjoy the home theatre.
• Call from work “just to hear your voice.â€?
• Buy an 89 cent stem of daisies on your way home from work.
• Offer to do their chores and send them off to do something relaxing they enjoy.
• Keep a love journal.  Sit it out on the table and take turns writing what you love about the other in it.
• Send a free e-card.  Bonus points if you send it to their work.

The point is, make an effort to remind your darling that you think the world of them.  Little touches like these add up to a bucketful of affection and romance, without a boatload of money.

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Date nights have been suggested by marriage counselors and therapists for years now.  Never before has date night been so heavily pushed until now.  Today, it is just really hard to be able to stop your hectic lifestyle and have a date night.  Here are a few tips that will make it easier on you and make you commit to spending some time together each night.  For those of you who have children, find a babysitter who will commit to one night a week for the evening and then just have them show up at say 7pm.  When she shows up to watch the kids, you are instantly committed to following through with your plans. 

 
Here are a few tips to help you out:

 

1. Get out of the house: The house is where the kids are and it’s really not a date night if the kids around.  Also, the house reminds of you of your hectic life and numerous responsibilities.
2. No movies or other forms of entertainment that keeps you from seeing each other:  Date night is all about the two of you.  If you go to a movie or theater show you are both facing the same direction and you are not focused on each other.  Find activities that allow you to focus on each other such as dancing, putt-putt golf or even go-kart racing.  Anything that will bring you together and allow you to connect.
3. Don’t invite anyone to come with you, meet you or put yourself in a situation where you have to socialize:  Date night is all about connecting with each other and not other people.  Don’t go on a double date or go to a party or event.  Go to dinner alone and spend the time together.
4. Schedule at least 2 hours:  A real date takes longer than one hour.  Make sure the babysitter knows that it might be all evening and for several hours.  Two hours will give you at least a good sit-down dinner and perhaps another activity such as a walk or just sit and talk.
5. Get Creative: Get creative with date night.  Don’t do the same thing every week or it will just become boring.  Try to make date night activities different each week.

 
If you do opt to stay in the house, be sure that the kids are gone for the weekend and that all of your house responsibilities are taken care of.  Then spend the whole weekend naked in bed! 

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Sure, people like cell phones because they can always stay connected, they don’t miss an important call and they have a “plan” in case there is an emergency.  Of course, people dislike cell phones because they are always expected to answer the phone and they are expected to be readily available for the most minute “emergency” such as your spouse calling you to go out of your way to pick up a pint of ice cream on your way home.

Have you thought about how cell phones can boost your romance?  Sure, you don’t see each other all day long and then when you do get home you’re making dinner, playing with the kids, helping with homework, catching up on the things you didn’t get done at work the day before, cleaning the house, making lunches for tomorrow… where’s the time for romance?

 Use your cell phone to send sweet love notes via text messaging or call your partner to tell him or her that you love them.  If you see something or hear a story that would interest your partner, call them up and share it with them.  Cell phones make for an easy way to stay connected throughout our busy schedules.  Instead of looking at it as a necessity for work, start thinking of your cell phone as a tool to keep the romance alive and well even when your schedules keep you apart.

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Want to spice things up with you and your sweetheart?  Have things fizzled because it’s the same ole same ole?

I bought a copy of the Kama Sutra as a gag shower gift for a friend a few years ago.  I didn’t ask how she liked it, it was more information than I wanted.  But c’mon, I got nosy and had to see for myself.  So I bought a second copy, gift wrapped it and brought it home.  Was it a hit!

Now before you rail about kinkiness, the copy was very tasteful and explanatory.  It had a section about lead up romancing, including bathing each other and massages.  Some of the “positions� were always meant as a joke, and others are explained as being enjoyable for different reasons.

If you’re looking for different, get your own copy.  Make it a point to work through the book with your honey.  You might be surprised what new fun you discover.  But even better, you get time alone, getting to know each other more intimately.  And that is romance.

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Communication is key in every relationship and even more so if you desire a happy relationship if bed.  An online survey by MSN discovered that 4 out of 10 people have asked their lovers for a specific act in bed in the last month.  Why do people become so shy after they have lived with someone for many years?

 
Many therapists explain that due to factors in society, most people are too shy when it comes to communicating to each other about sex.  Often sex therapy becomes a sexual education class and communication training.  Even people who have been married for decades are often shy with their partners when it comes to sex.

 
So, what are you waiting for?  You married this awesome person because you love them.  Be brave and communicate.  Tell them what you want and they’ll tell you what they want.  Please each other and you will both be happily satisfied and married.

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Everyone wants to be loved.  Oh sure, there’s some loners out there who would argue otherwise, but deep down, each person has a need for human companionship.  So for those of us who are blessed with a love, we should make every effort to keep that relationship as healthy and vibrant as possible.

There are three key factors to a successful relationship, and sex doesn’t actually rate… it’s just a fun by-product.

1)      Friendship: That’s right.  You should be friends with your honey.  Otherwise, you’ll run out of things to talk about or do together once sex organs stop working as well.  No really, in all seriousness, if you treat your partner like you would your friends (assuming of course, you’re a good to them), you’ll have a great basis for a healthy relationship.

2)      Commitment: Yep, you knew that was coming.  Commitment to your relationship is one of the best things you can do for it.  If you determine you’re going to “stick this out no matter what,� you’ll find the little things just don’t bother you as much and everything moves along smoother.  In a culture where marriages are disposable, taking the approach that you’re in it for the long haul drastically impacts how you function in your relationship.

3)      Communication: Ok, again, a no-brainer.  But communication problems are one of the biggest issues a couple can face.  Make the time to talk together without distractions.  Sure, go over the business stuff like bills and work.  But make time to talk about your life and hopes and dreams too.  Be open and honest with your thoughts and feelings, but on the flip side, also make sure you listen without judging.

These three factors will lead to a healthy, happy relationship.  Oh right, and the sex is generally better too.

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You love your spouse and you love to be together, however, there are some things in life that don’t allow you to be together all of the time.  Here are 5 tips to help you become more relationship centered even if you are not together 24/7.  

1. Indulge in Shared Interests: She may love scrap booking or horseback riding and enjoys every minute of it, while he loves golf and watching football.  It is inevitable that you may not always share the same interests but be interested when your partner shares information about their interests with you.  Also, if there are activities that you like to do together such as working out or going camping, indulge in every minute of those with your partner. 
2. Make Your Partner Feel Desirable and Give them “I Love You”s: Making your partner feel desirable lets them know that you love them without saying a word.  Give them hugs and kisses when they least expect it.  Be near to them as much as possible.  These physical interactions show that you trust your partner and you want to be with them. Telling your partner you love them in a variety of ways.  Verbally and physically, you can show your partner that you love them by telling them and touching them. 
3. Be Marriage Centered, Not Child Centered:  Put your marriage before your children, but show your children that you love them and care for them.  It is better to have a healthy marriage than one that is stressed out over the children.  Limit children’s activities outside of home if they are going to be causing strains on your relationship.  Give the children options rather than allowing them to do everything. Take kid free vacations and enjoy being together.  Make date night a regular occurrence. 
4. Create and Exciting Vision for Your Future Together:  Make dreams together and realize them together. Plan a date and time for that perfect vacation or cruise.  Plan it well in advance and save up for it.  When that time comes you will be glad that you did.  This will give you the feeling of having accomplished something together.  
5. Talk About Sex: Don’t save it for the bedroom, if you have something to say about it say it.  Talking about sex and communicating with each other will insure that you know your partner’s needs and desires. Talking about it casually will make it easier and you will be less apt to be shy about it. 

  

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